Refugee Diary p.1



Yeheyu l’ratzon…

— May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to you, my Lord and my Redeemer.

I say this a lot, though not for reasons of piety.  Rather, I recite this to myself for focus, to get through a difficult moment, to find calm, sometimes to escape great fear or pain.  I suppose my use of this phase in this way somehow suggests that I believe God wants me to survive, find focus, escape great fear or pain; that my thinking thoughts that will help me to survive is more acceptable to Her than thoughts that might prevent my survival.  But really I think I believe nothing.  I only know from experience that it works.  This prayer will help me survive.

Afterwards I lay on a beach, like this man, having arrived on the other side.  The pain washes over us like waves, and then recedes with the tide, leaving us drained and maybe momentarily, free.

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